As I sit here and type we are coming up to the big 12 weeks with our girl, and wow, what a 12 weeks it has been. We survived!!!!
The day Sophie was born is of course a day I will never forget but waking up on that day I didn't quite realise just how much our lives would change. I feel like every aspect of my world is now different.
So going back to that day..... I was induced, so when we pulled into the car park the afternoon before the big day... my hubby and I knew that the next time I would be in this car park we would be proud parents. I remember it was a nice sunny afternoon, I soaked up those last few minutes outside before we went in those sliding doors.
What happened in hospital can be a blog for another day I think... all I will say is... labour, Wow!
Out little family headed home on fathers day.... perfectly planned for my hubby of course!
Going home was something my hubby and I had talked about whilst growing our little babe, how odd it was that your in hospital with all this help and then suddenly you are just home. The three of us alone. What would you even do?
Well our home coming consisted of a quick shop in town before packing our bundle into the car, of course I had to buy pink baby sunglasses in the pharmacy, because of course our babe would be wearing them in no time, what was I thinking?! They still barely fit btw.
We did a quick supermarket shop and headed on home, in that slow ever so careful drive. Going home meant introductions to the fur babies Charlie and Daisy, feeding Sophie in her nursery with my 4 pillows and rolled up pillow cases under my heavy gigantic boobs, you know, the normal when learning to breastfeed your new baby.
So from that day, to here. How did we survive.
1. The first 6 weeks by midwife Cath. This book! Thank you book!
When asking my sister in law for advice, she said something I will never forget, prepare to be unprepared. This is so true.
But I am glad i read this book..... 3 times before Sophie arrived, who am I kidding, way more! I felt like having a slight plan, and one that the hubby knew had read also helped us. We had something to aim for and found Kaths bath, bottle bed routine amazing. This gave me some time out, my hubby his own special daddy time and gave us a routine when our life resembled the opposite of routine. This book taught us teamwork as parents, taught us what to look out for, what to worry about and what not. Honestly, buy this book! This book did lead to us using 1 bottle of formula a day, something which I was made to feel guilty a bit, whether they meant to or not, but more about that another day!
2. Listen to your gut instinct.
I was worried before having Sophie that I would be a mother with no motherly intuition, or I would have no motherly instincts what so ever, and hey, lots of people out there don't feel like they have this and thats totally okay. But if you do find yourself having motherly instincts, don't ignore it. Having a little babe you will no doubt find that you get advice from everywhere, (Here I am giving even more, Sheesh!) some good and some not so good. You have to find what works for you, your babe or for you and your partner. I remember in hospital I was told not to feed my 2 day old baby if she looks hungry and it had not yet been 90 minutes since her last feed, so as brand new parents of course we listened to the nurse, and what did Sophie do, she cried and would not settle. This felt so wrong for us, and went against what we had read in the above book, but the nurse had said so, so of course we listened.
So with this not feeling right the hubby and I went on google and did some research, we decided that nope, waiting 90 minutes between feeds wasn't our thing, it might be for some, but not for us. So we started to feed our little babe, when she appeared hungry and she was settled and she slept. So we were settled.... and we slept! Parent win for us! So our gut instincts were right for our little babe, but we did research more and i guess double check ourselves just in case, after all we were in our first days of being mummy and daddy.
3. Join this "mummy" or "daddy" community
You are not alone! When you are up in the middle of the night, you are not alone. When your baby won't go down and just wants to be held, you are not alone. When your bursting to do a wee but your babe needs you, you are not alone. When your so hungry but your feeding your babe, your not alone, when you are so tired or upset, you are not alone!
Find a community where you fit and can find happiness. This might be online or in a local mothers group. How ever it may be... talking about this new mumma life has certainly helped me. Not only can you get help, little tricks and tips from others but you might be able to help others as well. And who doesn't feel good when helping other people? Social media has been a great learning platform for me, I especially love the sleep mumma's Kylie Camps for mum advice on social media, Revie Jane is another women I love to follow, very relevant with her new babe Lexington and Ashy Bines, again a mum who I happily follow. All three of these ladies share their honest journeys of motherhood, good and bad. I don't want pretend stories of motherhood, or to only hear the good bits, I want the poo and I want the hardships... why? Because that helps me feel not so alone.
Maybe there are some people out there who have a perfect happy time all the time, but that is not for me. I want to follow people I can relate to, who on my shittier days is going to make me feel better and feel less alone and maybe I can be that person for just one person, thats what I wish for. A community of people helping each other, encouraging and supporting others. I have also loved joining a mothers group, after 4 sessions the bond/friendships in our group are all ready blossoming and I can't wait to spend more time with these ladies and watch our babes grow together.
So, these three things have helped me so much to survive the first 12 weeks, to think back on our first week is crazy, as parents my hubby and I have learnt and grown on this journey together, each day we have our ups and our downs but for us, our world just got crazy busy but crazy beautiful.
Better go.... my babe is awake!
P.s My little babe is now 13 weeks old, it took that long to finish, mumlife!
Kahlia xx