My sugar expereince with GD (Gestational Diabetes)

So it seems these days that so many mummas either have GD or know someone that has had GD.

I got "the diabetes" was a common expression my husband and I found our selves saying to each other, it became a bit of a joke, thankfully I had stopped crying..... eventually.

I found out I had GD on a Monday afternoon after having my test and drinking that awful drink (barely, so not cool with morning sickness!) on a Saturday. I went to work as normal on Monday but had accidentally left my phone at home, I hadn't even thought about my test results until I got home at a bit past 5 and checked my phone. I had a missed called from my obstetrician saying to phone back regarding my test results, righto, not a good sign I thought. The next message on my phone was a missed called with a voice to text from the diabetic clinic, Well, i burst into uncontrollable tears, it was pretty obvious that I had GD, I was alone and upset and anyone I could have called had gone for the day, believe me, I tried!

What did this mean for me? what did this mean for my baby? what did I have to do that night? I was a lost, crying mess, not long after this my husband arrived home and asked what was wrong, I remember sniffing and crying my way though saying "I think I have diabetes". Of course he cuddled me and made me feel better and we did some research on Dr google to see what this really was and what it may mean for our growing family of 3.

I spent that night devastated, as someone that is overweight of course I thought it was all my fault and that I deserved it in some way due to my excess weight. I now know that it probably wasn't even related to my weight, and even if it was, of course I didn't deserve it. Nothing anyone could say or anything I could read could shake this feeling for a good couple of months, I may not have talked about it but still that guilt stuck with me for a long time, deep down maybe it still does, a little, but I do know better now... but insecurities get the best of us all sometimes!

So, i was formally diagnosed visiting my midwife and obstetrician, as lovely as always they both made me feel a lot better about having diabetes and reassured me about the journey ahead, but I was told my numbers were high so I had to expect my GD to be hard to mange and control.

I joined some facebook support groups for GD which made me feel less alone, my eyes were opened to people all shapes and sizes all around the world with GD who were having healthy and happy sugar babies, as I found out they call babies of GD mummas! This opened my eyes to a huge GD community of women sharing knowledge, tricks and just generally supporting each other, this helped the most.

So here I was growing my little sugar baby, luckily as a nurse I had a decent amount of knowledge about diabetes and have all ready had experience testing my own sugars and even giving myself an insulin needle one day (minus the insulin) to gain a 'patients experience' and BOY I was happy for this experience and knowledge now. I can not even begin to imagine how hard GD would be for any women with needle phobias, you are true heroes for your babies.

So my testing life began, testing four times daily, on waking (fasted) and 2 hours post breakfast, lunch and tea. The blood sugar I found hard to manage was my fasting one. I was advised and had read that eating supper was really important to manage your fasting sugar levels, so I began a trial and error process of what to eat and supper, even when I was hungry (anybody that has ever had to eat just because ,when your not even hungry will understand how annoyingly horrible this actually is!) to see what kept my morning blood sugar under my limits. It didn't take long before I had to start injecting myself with insulin, so now not only was I having to do finger pricks four times a day I now needed another needle at night. Each time a blood sugar was over my limits or I needed to up my insulin dose it was like my guilt smacking me in the face, despite my diet being 95% good, no chocolate in sight (for me this is a huge change!!!). See the thing with GD is for many women, like me, is that you barely have any control over what your blood sugar levels are doing, you might eat the exact thing one day, and boom, high numbers eating the exact same thing the next. It sucks!!! No matter how good diet wise you may be those pesky sugars seem to rise. What I found hilarious was that other than diet what can affect your numbers is being tired, stressed and emotional. Um, HELLLO I'm pregnant, I was pretty much all of things things 24/7, plus I have diabetes, which is stress full yet stress makes it worse?? Natures cruel gift I guess?

So where did the snickers ice cream bar come into play..... WELL.... I read on these facebook GD groups that a snickers ice cream at supper can help your fasting numbers, of course I thought as if. So for a few weeks I went about trying different things, one day I wanted something sweet so I thought, why not try that snickers bar, it was a good excuse to have treat but not feel quite so guilty. IT WORKED!!! No joke, I had a snickers ice cream bar nearly every night from about 30 weeks pregnant, my fasting numbers from that moment only increased a tiny bit and my insulin level only had to go up a little too, I was stoked. To this day I can't believe it worked... and I now cant eat snickers ice cream bars. If I never see one again I would totally be okay with that.

SO... my experience with GD has its ups and it's downs, I went from being mortified to realising that GD is okay, it is manageable. My babe and I would be okay.

If you have GD I want your to know;

GD is common

GD will probably make you cry

GD will probably make you feel angry

GD will probably make you feel stress

GD will make you feel a wide range of emotions, but trust me, girl, it is not your fault. Don't blame yourself.

You will get through it, there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you can get to this bit and skip the others, I would recommend it and wish that on everyone diagnosed. I hope one day that more people know about GD so you don't feel quite so judged and shit about yourself.

What seems like the worst thing to ever happened, most likely won't be.

You will get use to the finger pricks, you will get use to the insulin, you will get use to worrying about when and what to eat 24/7.

You will, why? well because you will do anything for that little babe growing away inside you.

Kahlia xx